You’ve read about the stages of loss and grief. It starts with denial. It’s very tricky because you know the state of things but refuse to admit it. It may seem safe for a while, until you get to stage two, anger. Reality emerges, and the easiest means of deflecting it is taking it against someone or something else. Stage three is bargaining. This is where you drown yourself in the could-have-been thoughts. It may seems like the calm after the storm, but the real danger is not until the fourth stage, depression. In this stage you may not act as violently as the time you were angry, but you are twice as vulnerable. Acceptance. The final stage. It is not about seeing the rainbow. It is about knowing that the storm was inevitable, and being okay with it.
What if I told you that there is a way to skip all those stages? Well, there is. Writing about it is a shortcut to acceptance of the pain. There are actually more benefits in it and not just a fast recovery.
- Therapy. You can save so much on expenses by not having to seek professional help. Some have spent so much on a mental health expert, and still take too long to recover or have not recovered at all. When you put it into writing, you may or may not jot down what is true, but when you read it again, it is easy for you to distinguish how much of it is a lie. You can be angry at yourself about it, but at least this is you re-telling the story to yourself.
We have just covered stages one through four with this alone. Moving on…
2. Growth. Writing about your acceptance means you are wiser. When you know better, you will be prepared for anything to come. Each time you write, you realize that you have learned so much. True enough, life does not come with a manual, but you can write one for yourself. It lessens the chances of being hurt again. Although it may not be completely pain-proof, it does have control over the harshness of the aching.
- Art. Just because the moment of agony is over, doesn’t mean your writing goes to waste. You can keep doing it for the sake of art. Nothing sells like pain can. Adele ‘s got a whole album to prove it. She came out of nowhere. She’s just a woman who experienced a great deal of heartache, turned her stories into songs, and received a Grammy Award. The thing is, breakup anthems tend to always get well-received because most of them are made from real experiences, ones that people can relate to. Take Wrecking Ball for example, how creatively it’s been written. Who would have thought you could make people feel your pain by comparing yourself to an equipment used to demolish buildings?
- Business. That’s right. I just said the B word. Who says you can’t do it for a living? You’ve used it as an inspiration for art, you might as well take it to the next level and earn from it. If you think you can’t pull it off, belting it out in front of an audience, sell it to a performing artist who can. You don’t instantly hit the big stars, but if your composition is that good, it won’t be too long before you get a name in the song-writing scene. Many recording artists started out as song-writers or lyricists, but eventually ended up owning their compositions and getting a career in the music industry. In the case of bad breakups, revenge isn’t even half as sweet.
When you write away the pain, you have none to lose and all to gain.